I am reminded by the book, “The Anatomy of Peace” that the first step to making long lasting peace with anyone is to first get into a place where I am, at my own heart, at peace. What does it mean to be at peace? Frequently when I feel anger to or from someone, I am really feeling fear, fear at how they will respond to me, fear that I cannot handle the anger that they send my way, fear that I will continue to hurt and ache like I am feeling in that moment.
So how do I transform that feeling to a peaceful state that will invite them to want to be with me, communicate with me, speak their own pain so that I can listen and learn and figure out how to be with them? I like the perspective that it is not that we should rid ourselves of fear but rather learn to live with the fear. Part of peace is being OK with fear, understanding it but not letting it take complete hold of you. Letting the wave of butterflies go by, flitting and floating with colorful power, providing waves of deep feeling yet knowing that a feeling won’t kill you, but having no feeling will.
I experience a moment of fear frequently when I post a new blog entry because of what I have revealed about myself. When I jump into something without looking, which I tend to do, I kind of like the whirl of adrenalin that makes me a bit faint and lightheaded. It is a sign that I am alive, very human and probably doing something that, right or wrong, is taking me out of my comfort zone. But how do I know if it is right or wrong? I am not sure that there is a right or wrong per say. If it were an action that was illegal or caused harm to others, yes I would say that is wrong, but if it means that I have revealed something about myself that might have consequences like loosing a job, or even loosing friends because I am revealing my own truth, then how can that be wrong?
Which brings me back to where I started – how do I be at peace with others who might not fully understand my perspective? I must speak the truth from my heart and let others know what I want for me, for them and for the world. I want peace and understanding of each other. I want shared appreciation of our complex and wondrous human experience.